A Mother’s Letter Through the Eyes of a Not So Favorite Daughter

To My dear daughter,

First and foremost, know that I am your mother and I will always love you….I had you in my tummy for nine months just like your other siblings.

You are my seventh of my eight children. Imagine having all of you – all born through normal delivery and an interval of one/two years for each! That must be insane but you are all blessings from God and my love for all of you is immeasurable and cannot be equated by who is more sweet, kind, giving, doting or affectionate. Each and every one of you has his/her own unique personality. You and your siblings are God’s greatest gift to me and your father.

You just didn’t know the feeling of both excitement and apprehension while carrying you in my womb. You may not understand how I was feeling but your older siblings were with me during those nine months of roller coaster ride until you finally came out looking like an angel to join us and complete a big happy family. Of course, we were all ecstatic to welcome you! Your father and I were the most excited of all to see you. You were heaven sent!

The moment I saw you, I knew you were going to be special and grow up to be someone I would be proud of. While you were training how to walk and talk, I used to gush at how you learned so fast…. a proud mom moment! Little did I realize that you were growing up so fast… you started tagging along with me wherever I go. You always cried nonstop whenever you were not allowed to tag along – thus you earned the moniker “long playing!”

My crybaby…. I knew you always felt neglected and unloved. You felt envious whenever your older sisters or youngest sister got new sets of clothes and you had none. You resented the fact that what’s in store for you were all hand-me-downs which made you believe that you were not the “favorite.” But you know my dear daughter, I never played favorites…. I had to make it clear to you that I had to work on a shoestring budget. Whatever extra I had on hand was set aside for essentials.

As a young child, you were sickly evident in your stick thin body frame. You were always my top priority whenever you fell ill because you needed the most care and attention. Did you know that your siblings were jealous of the attention I was giving you? Remember when you came home from school crying only because your big bro went home ahead leaving you behind? Your brother got a mouthful from me as I hugged you tightly to pacify you. I also bought you new sets of clothes and toys occasionally while your siblings had none.

Perhaps you always thought that you were nowhere near the beauty, wit and intelligence of your siblings – you were craving for more attention. Honestly, when one day you told me you love me zero, I confidently answered back, “it’s okay, Mama loves you unconditionally anyway!” – and then there was silence. I always knew all along you just wanted a reassurance which probably stemmed from your insecurities and very low self-esteem. But worry not my dear, you are well-loved…no ifs and buts…..
Now that you’re an adult and all, I pretty much know that you still have in you that so called lack of “self-worth.” Not being able to meet your expectations in life does not necessarily make you less of an achiever. Probably God has other big plans for you that will be given to you in HIS perfect time…

My dear, know that you were never neglected…. you are my favorite and will always be along with your siblings. Trust in God and yourself – slowly but surely you will definitely get there!

Your Reassuring Mom

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Author: lexirose7350

I am not a wife. I am not a mother. I am a just a sister with low self-esteem trying to build a world of my own. I always believe that there is something out there dreamy and fanciful no matter how rude life is. Emotional by heart, I can put up a tough front when necessary. I am not a very outspoken person but can be very conversational when in the mood. I'd like to believe that sharing my thoughts (in a platform i am most comfortable) would at least give me the freedom to express my suppressed emotions long been held in me. Writing is cathartic. A good way to release my thoughts. I value my solitude!

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