Dear Fangirl Self,
Wow! It has been more than a year…and hey, what a ride!!! Crazy ride that is…….!!! Still baffled though, how this ALDUB phenomenon came about….
I was actually surprised, more than anything…to see you, dedicating a part of your life fangirling! I have seen you procrastinate, well, most of your time….exchanging tweets and POVs to people you’ve never met personally and some you have just met. You were never this agog and I’m quite jealous/envious about it. As soon as you wake up and still squinting, you fumble in your bed for your phone and check on what’s the latest about ALDUB/MAICHARD!!! You almost always forget that you haven’t gotten up….….for your morning rituals.
Your late night convos (till the wee hours actually) with your so called “friends”are a gem to you. You, more often than not, doze off…with your phone resting in your face and I’d always wear a quiet laughter…sweet silliness!!!
I get it! The joy that you get from it (even how nonsensical the convos maybe). I have seen you get giddy, happy, laugh, cry, get disappointed and felt devastated. However, you often forget fangirl self, that you have a life beyond this fangirling mode. You’ve also been critical about them individually and as a couple – but that doesn’t mean you adore them less/zero.
Yes, I’d say critical….for there have been issues/things you have not been in agreement with. You can only assume… the word “pordalab” has already been misused a million times already. It has even gotten to a point that it felt like quite “diluted” in a way. The fandom, though being diverse and huge opened your eyes to a multitude of realities – including that of RJ and Maine being two different individuals. Simply put, you are all moving around a kaleidoscope world!
Lately, though you’ve been trying to “disconnect.” I guess, you’ve been feeling a bit indifferent due to some recent circumstances… Is it a case of “the last straw that broke the camel’s back?” You are trying to pull away gradually, as I see it……just like the way I feel your struggle to detach yourself from the friends you’ve made. But no matter how imperfect Alden/RJ and Maine are, as separate individuals, as a couple and as celebrities, you have this fervent prayer of them becoming one in the eyes of God….soon! Even if at the end of the day, it will just be them…just the two of them who will fulfill their promise of forever. You and the entire fandom will just be mere spectators….ecstatic/giddy witnesses to a love entangled by destiny.
On second thought, less or even zero visibility on twitter doesn’t make you less of a MAICHARD shipper. Things have become quite tough to take in (for someone faint-hearted like you), so you think. Perhaps, it’s about time for you to focus on some other things important in your life and just admire them from afar….
Anyhoo, we stay or leave by choice….
Your Other Self